It's Your Fault
by JoannaKuwabara
Summary: It hurt when I finally realized that they didn't care about me. That they didn't want to be around me and even wished I was dead. I cared about them, I TRUSTED those bastards. And what do they do? They screw me over and rip my heart out. Warnings: language, spoilers, violence (kind of), and Character Death


It's You're Fault

South Park fan fiction

Disclaimer:

I do not own South Park or anything related with the cartoon. I am not making any profit from writing this fan fiction; its purely for fun and enjoyment purponses only.

I do not own The Passion of the Christ nor make a profit by using it in the story; just using it as a reference.

Warnings: Language, spoilers, death, violence, harsh rasicst names (said by Cartman usually).

A/N: So this is my first South Park fic. I've been on a South Park kick lately and I've watched (in two weeks on and off) 15 seasons, just started the 15 season. However I found as I was watching the beginning...Cartman wasn't always evil. He was actually 'nicer'ish...he would try and do something good but would get pissed off by Kyle (I like Kyle in fan fics but not really in the show...up until maybe season 11ish but that's when he becomes more 'nice'.) So I started thinking this up and just started writing and this is what happened. Its pretty dark and deep and its all my feelings on HIS feelings in the show. I truly think this is his thought process but what do I know hahaha.

So I hope you enjoy this but if you don't like some dark stuff don't read. (the middle isn't as bad as the ending) and its not realllly THAT dark I guess but to me it is.

Anway enjoy!

I didn't use to be like this. Well, not as bad as I am now. I use to like my friends, even say: "I love you guys." But it seems they never really loved me or even liked me for that matter. They picked on me and I thought it was because that's what friends do, rip on each other. However, I was wrong. They treated me like shit because they didn't like me nor wanted to be near me. Sure they told me that to my face many times, but I was naïve. I thought they were just messing around. How stupid was I to think that they were kidding. And as the days went by and the insults began to have more venom behind them I slowly started to see the great picture.

It hurt when I finally realized that they didn't care about me. That they didn't want to be around me and even wished I was dead. I cared about them, I TRUSTED those bastards. And what do they do? They screw me over and rip my heart out. The only TRUE friend I had was Kenny but as he grew up he began to grow apart from me not to mention the rest of the group. I blame that fucking Jewrat for that and for most of my pain. I didn't hate Jews until he talked shit on me. The Passion of the Christ was just the last nail in the coffin; pun of course intended.

That Jew slowly seemed to weed me out of the group; all the groups really. He always acts as if he was better than me and tries to make a fool of me in front of everyone...and I mean EVERYONE! I can't even believe I saved his fucking ass and his Jewtard family from that Smug. However, I was still naïve, even then. I still held on to a sliver of hope that my friendship with him wasn't fake. He doesn't even know what I did for him, but I rather he not know. Knowing him, he'd pull a Jew move and demand me to PROVE that I saved his ass.

But I don't care.

Stan is not as bad as the Jewrat, but when he's with him he is just as bad as him. But even him...he decieved me as my friend. He never really hung out with me. He rather hang out with that sticky ass Jew than with someone as awesome as me. He also grew gayer as the years went by, taking the side of that God aweful bitch, what does he see in her? She just causes cancer every time she talks. I'm surprised Stan hasn't died from a sexual disease from that slut.

But its not even my main group of friends that treat me bad. The rest of the guys ignored me or belittled me for so long with out me truly knowing it. It took me years to released that they just wanted to see Wendy beat my ass; back in fourth grade when I made her mad about me mocking Breat Cancer; or rather boobie killer. They never thought of me as cool. They thought of me as something to laugh at and get a few kicks out of. Even Butters of all the people...Butters I thought I at least could count on. But no, he was like the rest of them. The only one out of that group that was nice to me was Clyde. He even stood up for me one time when Kyle was being an ass. I'll never forget that. But everyone else...I HATE everyone else. Especially KYLE, that faggat Jewrat.

And my family life is worse sometimes. My mom never being home and not having a dad really could screw up a kid; especially when your mom is the town whore. I denied it for a long time but I knew it was true. But the woman was my mom. The woman who fed me and took care of me. But even she abandoned me in the end. She barely is home and I'm left to take care of the house. I cook my own food, clean the house, and even take care of her drunk ass when she walks in the door after a midnight fuck. I've lost a lot of weight because of this.

I knew I wasn't 'big boned' but what person likes being called a 'fatass'? No one I would except; well maybe masicosts but I'm not one of those types of people. I prefer tenderness and compassion, which at this point in my life if I told anyone this they would laugh in my face, or even stare at me as if I grew five heads that spit out fire. My soul was sensitive but because of the bastards I can't FEEL anything anymore; or I'd get hurt. I WON'T let myself be hurt anymore.

Which leads me here. Where this had all lead to. In the end you all made me do this. The only people that I truly really cared about me; that gave two fucking shits about my fat ass was Kenny and Clyde...But not even you guys can stop me now; stop me from doing this. Even tho you two were the only TRUE friends I had. You teased me but it didn't hold the same malice as the teasing from Jewrat or the other assholes. You two really treated me nicely and I thank you for it.

However, since you are reading this...that means not even you two could keep me from doing what I'm about to do. I can't believe I'm only 16 and I won't ever experience life because some dick ass shit heads slowly tore my soul apart. They stole my childhood from me and stole my innocence. I'll never know how to drive a car, go to college, get married, get my first kiss by a guy...yes what made it all worse was I was bi-sexual. I'm not gay. But I do like guys as well as some girls. However, that fucking doesn't matter anymore does it? I'll never know the feel of someone loving my sexy ass hot bod. But its not like if I kept going in the the direction I WAS going in I would enjoy those things.

I figured if I didn't do this I would do something worse...maybe try to kill the entire Jewish race again. However, what I'm doing now has more purpose than me trying to destroy that evil race of Jewrats.

You people...you fucking dick shits of so called 'friends'...you filled me with hate and loathing so powerful that it has come to this.

You all made me do this. This is all your fault.

Fuck you all.

-Eric Theodore Cartman

Kenny looked up from the letter and shed a tear. Clyde had also read the letter and bursted out into tears. He couldn't look at the letter or at the horrible site that lay in front of the two teens.

'I was just like them...I could have stopped it ages ago but I didn't...' Kenny mumbled through the parka he still wore.

Clyde just sobbed uncontrolably feeling just as guilty as Kenny and fell to the ground.

He looked at the burning school. Cartman had picked a day that he KNEW Clyde and Kenny would not be in school. He made sure to lock all the doors and blow up the school from with in. Killing everyone he knew as well as himself.

"I'm sorry Eric...I'm so sorry..."

So yeah... tell me what you guys think. Sorry that my first fic in this category had to be so...dark. I'll try to write something less depressing but I've been trying to write this for so long and now that its out of my system I'm good hahaha. So I hope you enjoyed this and please read and review.


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